JOANA SWEATER NOW AVAILABLE: https://hellojuniper.com/channel/UCkin59aR57-RgqvN04jHSIg/p/1865852518461
It seems that a massive race of "John Cenators" have tragically died after their curiosity got the best of them. A suspect by the name of "Joana Ceddia" is wanted but she is unable to be found by authorities. A team led by Dog "The Bounty Hunter" Chapman is on the lookout for the suspect. Ceddia was last seen wearing Emma Chamberlain's clothing line, carrying a backpack with a bicycle inside and holding a thicc avocado tortilla. She is notorious for torturing her victims with wax strips. Ceddia is considered armed and dangerous with a wide selection of nerf guns. Please leave a tip if you have any information on the suspect.
P.O Box: Now closed
Batty McFaddin - Silent Film Light by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
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Am I one of those aesthetic youtubers that wakes up all perfect yet? Hello my dudes, how are we doing today? It is 6:15 on a Thursday morning And, no, my mornings don't usually start off this early, if I'm not working out. I just wanted to film this video. So, we're up butt-early. So yeah you probably read the title Today I'm just gonna take you guys along with me on a typical school day. You know there's only two or three weeks left of school for me So I wanted to pump out a bunch of high school videos So that in the future maybe I can look back at this and be like wow That was a strange time. So anyways without further ado Let's just begin So the first thing I do when I wake up from my beauty slumber Is obviously get out of bed and go to the washroom where all the madness goes down. The first thing I do in there is tinkle on the toilet. I'm pretty sure that most of us are potty trained so I won't explain the physics of this But I'll link some tutorials in the description box. Then I washed my hands because I'm not a barbaric monster and take out my disgusting retainer >:( This is the nastiest part by far. Then I brush the mat of spaghetti that is my hair. TIME FOR A FASHION SHOW It is time that I pick out my outfit for the day. Now I have one rule that I live by when I pick out my outfits. If I can't wear it during the apocalypse I'm not going to wear it at all. For instance I decide to go into Brandy Melville on a whim a couple of months ago and I found this olive green jumper. I bought it after two seconds of looking at it. This is amazing and everything I have ever wanted. Like, one zip and you're done. Anyways on this day it was a bitter twelve degrees Celsius. So I went with these green cargo pants And this simple pink top. Quick note about these cargo pants. They suck me in and I love that. Also don't forget the socks they're important. It's at this time that I go downstairs to eat breakfast. Now I have a very precise breakfast routine. So listen up peeps. First up, one cup of almond milk. No, I'm not vegan. I just drink this milk because normal milk makes my insides tumble into the toilet. Next exactly twelve raw almonds. Not eleven, not thirteen, not sixty-nine, not three point five. TWELVE Honestly almonds are really addictive so I have to keep them as far away from me as possible. Next, forty grams of smoked turkey breast. Measure it out if you have to. Two mushrooms. RAW If you eat mushrooms cooked you need to check your mushroom privilege. ALSO, make sure to wash those shrooms because you don't know who they've been talking to. And finally the holy grail, the avocado tortilla. The love I have for this strange dish is immeasurable. I need to start off my day with this or else the universe becomes unbalanced. It's a part of me now. Is it an addiction? Maybe. Do I have an issue? Possibly. Will I become an avocado tortilla eventually? A HUNDRED PERCENT YES Hello my dudes. So now is the time that I usually eat breakfast. I thought I'd sit down all of us together and we'd have breakfast as a family. You know? J O H N N Y -put the knife down. I know you're probably looking at this and thinking, "Joanna what on God's green Earth are you eating?" But guess what, it fills me up so that's a you problem. :) At this moment I would also like to quickly talk about what the day is gonna look like. crunchie cronch crunch Was that some nice ASMR for you? So I haven't talked about this on camera yet but I am in fact taking only two courses this semester. Okay, I know that sounds alarming but just stick with me for thirty seconds. I'll explain it. In Ontario you need thirty credits to graduate. Which means that you have to have taken at least thirty courses over your high school career. And pass all thirty of them. Now if you take a full course load all four years that means you can take thirty-two courses. And get thirty-two credits which is two more than you actually need. Now those two extra credits are usually for people who fail a course And need to take it again so that they can graduate with thirty credits. But I haven't failed any of my courses yet. You also have the option to just take two spares. Which is what I'm doing. So don't worry. I'm not cutting corners or skipping school or anything like that. Honestly it's a pretty good decision because I have calculus and chemistry together. Which I know isn't the worst but especially in the last semester of high school ever. Things are really hitting the fan you know. Anyways I'm gonna finish eating breakfast now and then we'll be on our way. So I vacuumed up my breakfast quickly. >:) Got my backpack ready for the school day. And out the door I was headed. Now the weather has been getting warmer recently. So I have been able to walk to school. It's about a two kilometer walk so it's not really that bad. It was a beautiful cloudy day which I love. I mean I hate the sun. After a good fifteen minutes of walking I arrived at prison. First period of that day was Calculus. Now I'm usually obnoxiously early to class. So I often have to sit outside the room awkwardly until the teacher opens the door. But that's okay because it means I can assert my dominance. At eight forty-five class began. I was ready Now something I don't understand with these high school videos on YouTube Is why it always looks like everyone's having a party. And a fest. The last thing anyone ever seems to be doing in those videos is work. And I don't get it. Like at my school no one's monkeying around. But I guess that's for the better in the grand scheme of things. Anyways At ten-twenty A.M. I found myself in CHEMISTRY class How's it going? You might be wondering. Well, let's just say that senoiritis has really been getting the better part of me. At this point the teacher announces a test and it doesn't even scare me anymore. It's a very scary feeling but I'm still pushing through. So that's okay. Hello my dudes so we're now walking home. It's almost twelve P.M. right now and I am ravenous. I also have to pee like really badly. My bladder is this close to just tapping out. I drank my entire water bottle so I think that's probably why. The sun decided to say hi. I'm proud of the sun because that takes a lot of courage. Yeah I'll see you guys at home. When we get home I'll make some lunch and we'll get on with our day. Oh my God. So now it's time for lunch. Usually I eat some type of salad. Like a cucumber salad today. My mother made it last night and then there was still some left over so I'm eating them now. Then I eat one scrambled egg with one slice of vegan cheese. I'm like the only person on the planet that thinks vegan cheese is better than normal cheese. And then I eat just one entire pear. Like whole. I just swallow it. Okay. So I'm going to eat this now and then guess what time it is dudes. I've got some fun homework. Honestly I don't have that much so it's probably not going to take me that long. But I'm gonna take advantage of the extra time I have. Since I don't have any classes in the afternoon. And try to get as much done as possible. I'll see you guys in a bit. Enter the lunch feast. I gobbled it down quickly. Changed into more comfy clothing and got to doing my homework. Fun fact I do my homework in complete and utter darkness. Except for one light being on. It's really intense but awesome at the same time because I feel like I'm some sort of crazed surgeon. But that's besides the point. Sometime at around four P.M. I then decided to go out for a run. Now on the days that I don't go to the gym I will usually run instead. So I went for my quick thirty minute run and when I got home I was ravenous. SEE this is the effect physical activity has on me. Everything I see in front of me is fair game broskis. I ended up making one tasty chicken breasticle. And exactly three hundred grams of butternut squash for dinner. It was delicious. Gordon Ramsey needs to pay me for simply existing. Hello my dudes. So it is now a whopping ten P.M. I know. Where did the hours go? And it's time for me to go to bed. I know that you are not screaming at all at your computer right now Asking me to show you my night time routine. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. So first off I brush my toothers. Actually that's a lie. I floss. Call me. Anyways after that I jump into the shower. The more violent, the better. But don't crack your skull open because cleaning up blood is not a fun experience. Trust me. I would know. Anyways, after like thirty minutes of shower shenanigans I jump back out of the shower And it's time for me to get my skin care routine on. Now everyone's always asking me what my skincare routine is And I feel like they're expecting some Mario Badescu type of stuff But let me tell you. That ain't it sis. You see, I have a little something called Eczema And I've had it ever since I was three years old And I still complain about it. So products, let's begin. First, I have this super cute really like aesthetic steroid cream. Called cortisol that was prescribed by my doctor So no you can't get it at Urban Outfitters. And the fun thing is if I ingest it I might just d i e. So that's really cute. And then after that I use this other heavy duty cream that smells like what you would expect old ladies to smell like. And I smear that all over the Sahara Desert that is my face. And finally I use Vaseline on my lips. And that's it. I do that every single day. My Eczema: if you're watching this go jump in a hole and never leave. -john cena Thank you very much. So with that my dudes The day has ended we have finished all our businesses. I'm gonna go...