Everything Wrong With Monsters Inc. In 14 Minutes Or Less

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    In honor of the upcoming new Pixar film, we decided to point the sin cannon at another classic Pixar movie, Monsters Inc. As per our motto, we did find some sins.

    Next week: Something recent, and something dance related.

    Remember, no movie is without sin. Which movie's sins do YOU want to see recounted?

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    ladies and gentlemen we have a first here at cinemasins I'm knocking off a sin for the combination of Disney and Pixar logos being a blessedly brief ten seconds which means this is the first film ever to start off with negative sins mind blown hey wait a minute why is the M so hard to eat this monster ate the other M just fine and since when did letters become sentient beings like right before the L in film was eaten now wait a minute the soccer ball was clearly under the bed in the previous shot the skateboard would have made more sense now the skateboard isn't even here hello the toy racetrack isn't even here and definitely not a half play game of jacks evil guy is evil because everything about his character design and introduction lighting tells me he's evil no you nerd because we need this boss wastes natural resources just to demonstrate what the natural resources are also how did monsters ever figure out that screams power thinks how did they first collect it and this seems like something you should have an abundance of what with wav files and digital copies and whatnot weird monster penis painting car with teeth inspires the two worst Pixar movies ever now to the world was also drawn using children's screams it seems like Sulley is so good at this he should easily be able to work a little overtime and help get the city's supply of scream back up to normal levels I mean how long does it take to get the screen like a minute if you extrapolated that over a typical eight-hour shift she'll be able to get the city's power back in no time I don't understand dating in the monster world Mikey apparently is a completely different species with no discernible genitalia Mike leaves himself three poster reminders to file his paperwork but if the first two reminders didn't help it's kind of a sin that he'd think the third one would I'll tell you what's really creepy is how they got this kid's picture to put the five also monsters ink spells yield wrong that's true for the corporation and the movie movie rips off the slow motion walking sequence from all the movies ice that fall out this easily or maybe not so ready to be eyes this scene where they realized that girl is too won't be scared and they call for the dead door demolition team makes me wonder how did they get the doors for newborn kits where do they come from who builds them or creates them here in Monster Wyatt how do I even know of a new human child's existence these days they just don't get scared like they used to share kids were exposed to more things even back in 2001 I find it hard to believe there's so much more used to scary things that actual monsters coming in the rooms don't bother them cute design on this monster with the hard hat and little eye tentacle holes but doesn't that negate some of the hard hats effectiveness when something could fall and smash into his eyes clearly no sock on this guy's back as he struts out of the kids room but then suddenly a sock shows up like magic when he starts walking forward monster cup sizes range from two ounce to twenty ounce to 115 ounce and that's it you either drink hardly enough the perfect amount or way too much hey can I borrow your rodent in this world where we've seen too toothbrushing scenes Monsters Inc wants to have it both ways and be the opposite of the human world for just this one joke I know we're dicks this is a cute moment but the movie literally hinges entirely on the notion that Sully is somehow incapable of putting this child inside her room and closing the door before she slips back out Randall just happens to be implementing a secret evil plan on the very night Sully stayed behind to cover Mikey's paperwork also didn't everybody just get off work why has Randall so dumb as to do his shady scaring like five minutes after quitting time how fast is it even physically possible for a workplace this large to empty out okay come on first we didn't see boo at all during the entire last 30 seconds of panic by Sully second of all he seriously can't feel some toddler size thing hanging off his back with all this stuff we just watched it's amazing the timing of Randall's exit from the bedroom just one second and more sooner than he'd have busted Sully running through the floor with a child in the bag also this is Boo's door and she's not in there so what the hell was Randall doing all this time while Sully was running around the locker room we learned later he wanted to kidnap her so was he just chilling and waiting where did he assumed she'd gone how did he know when to stop chilling and waiting why is the system built in such a way that one cannot quickly recall a door that's been sent away recently that seems like a really stupid design flaw plot-related designs law but still it wouldn't that to get your paperwork and there was a door what she can't hear them Sulli freaks out over food touching him when she's touched him a million times already you think he's gonna come through the closet and scare you they set this kid up so it appeared she wasn't scared of anything but she apparently really is scared of Randle so why was she so unafraid of Sully when he walked through the door man think about what her parents are going through right now if you think about this movie from their perspective it gets a lot more lovely bones than you wanted to um the candles are still burning geez Hollywood has terrible flame discipline good thing monsters have both the same physiology and toilet fixtures as humans Randall's worker but he openly discusses the kid he's ultimately responsible for inside a public restroom Jeff fungus ex machina super observant monster is momentarily super unobservant for comedy sake toilet paper sticks to your heel after using the bathroom cliche although when I think about it how they were in the cleanest bathroom in the history of bathrooms see for the upcoming company played called that put that thing back where it came from or so help me Mike and Sully's co-workers believe this Celia shows up out of nowhere so that she can yell at Mikey and Randall can figure out that they were at the sushi place last night the articles on this newspaper are the biggest bunch of nonsense we've ever seen here at cinema sits and that's saying something the writer even bothered to write ohms and oz in this thing sure it could be a joke but what's not a joke is somebody was able to snap this photo of boo while she rampaged the sushi restaurant I know you want to keep giving Randall reasons to use his abilities but Mike had a huge head start here and didn't even know himself where he was running so this book is impossible it's 11:55 a.m. right now and a mere two minutes ago with no significant passage of time whatsoever it was 8:50 now normally this would be a really stupid nitpick that has nothing to do with the quality of the movie and in all fairness it still doesn't and a ton of you will try to think the worst thing ever commented on YouTube ever because of it but in this case it's important because the next plot development entirely hinges on the scare floor going to lunch in five minutes how are they going to lunch when they just got here kid has been wandering free and Monsters Inc without one monster seeing see da assholes appear so you'll think Sully's in trouble but then become fanboys which also allows boo - once again avoid capture these CDA guys were all going number two at the same time that's weird because the last time Bumi the lights go out it was because she was crying not laughing she's been laughing the whole damn time she's been in this building and nothing happened Randall actually thinks Mikey is boo for some reason why does Randall ever bother becoming visible why not stay invisible and search the entire floor before revealing yourself Randall manages to increase his distance between he and Sully despite Sully running and Randall going the exact same speed out of nowhere and super conveniently discovered secret door isn't travel proof look this door closes on its own but also somehow knows to wait until after you hesitate then finally enter the tunnel Jesus you had no problem carrying the crate earlier when you're first kidnapped Mikey so why is this any different and what do monsters no less yeah so this scream extractor sounds evil but the only reason is that they're going to have to kidnap kids but why do they need to do that why not bring the machine to the scare floor or make it smaller for Christ's sake what's different about this machine that's any more unethical with and running in and scaring little kids for their screams furthermore Randall's actions on the night boo came over to the monster world don't really make sense now if the whole reason he set the door up that night was to kidnap boo then why didn't he just take her instead of stopping Midway to get some scream tubes didn't he have plenty near the secret door for the secret evil lab where he's testing this machine out scream extractor is plugged into a place where it is easily unplugged without detection person who has something really important to say is constantly interrupted by interrupting douchebag cliche yeah so why isn't this kid's fake recorded screams worth some scream energy you can its midi-chlorians isn't it I was just recording of Sully scare just happens to be rewound and paused on the perfect spot and contains all the important story information Oh banished to the human world so naturally the first thing they bump into is a monster from their own world snowcone don't worry it's lemon monster seeing shows it has the bravery to insert a much needed pee joke into the script wasteland I think you mean Wonderlan...
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